Monday Musings: Everything I Streamed On My Flight From Hell

Please stream in the upright position.

I recently took a flight from Orange County, California to Hartford, Connecticut to visit my sister, brother-in-law, and little nephew to help them move to their first house. This flight was THE WORST FLIGHT OF MY LIFE.

Now, I’m sure when I describe this flight, you’re gonna be like — oh it’s not really that bad, but when you arrive at your destination looking like a zombie and feeling like you just streamed thirteen hours of TV straight, well…

I’m going to skip the drama of the hour-long line to check in your luggage with Breeze Airways — yes, I will call them out. I’ll also skip the fact that the plane did not start boarding until the time we were supposed to be taking off. I’ll skip ahead to when I took my seat on the plane (window seat, my only salvation) and found a bathroom scale, all naked and unwrapped under the seat in front of me where I was supposed to put my bag.

First of all, who the heck brings a bathroom scale on an airplane? This airline only allows one personal item at no charge and this person chooses to bring a bathroom scale? I seriously need to know more about this person’s life.

I hand the scale to the attendant and the person in the middle seat in the row in front of me freaks out and says - Hey! That’s my scale! He takes it from the attendant and puts it in front of his own seat where it should have been in the first place. I sanitize my hands thinking I just touched this scale where this man probably put both of his feet. Ew.

Shortly before the flight I was alerted that there would be a delay due to weather. The weather being it was so hot that the plane could not store extra fuel so we would have to land at an additional airport in Arkansas to refuel. Instead of coming in at 10ish, now we would be landing in Hartford around midnight.

Here’s everything I streamed on this very long, long flight.

Young Woman and the Sea - movie (Disney+) - I cannot recommend this movie enough. Daisy Ridley stars in this true story about Trudy Ederle, the first woman to ever swim across the English Channel in the 1920s. It had all the elements of a feel-good Disney story, but also that extra — you show ‘em girl, raise fists, topple the patriarchy energy. Streaming Time: 2 hours, 9 minutes.

Fallout - 2 episodes (Prime Video)

I was sort of looking forward to seeing this series, but since it has been nominated in major categories at the Emmys, it propelled me to download two episodes for my flight. I really enjoyed the other series from executive producers Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy — HBO’s Westworld, but as Randy Jackson on American Idol used to say, this just didn’t do it for me, dawg. The series takes place in post-apocalyptic Los Angeles where people have to survive by living in bunkers to avoid radiation. It reminded me of a Marvel movie franchise that I absolutely can’t stand (unpopular opinion) Guardians of the Galaxy. The awkward insertion of unfunny humor, the use of novelty music as a device to make an action scene seem like a Marx Brothers movie just ruins it for me. I’m not sure if I can get past anymore than just these first two episodes.

Gatsby in Connecticut: The Untold Story - documentary (Prime Video )

This is one of those random docs you find on Prime Video when you are just joy-scrolling (opposite of doom) through the app, going so far through the titles that you end up coming to something like this. Since I was en-route to Connecticut and am an avid-reader, I thought it only fitting to watch a documentary about F. Scott Fitzgerald, his wife Zelda and how a new crop of historians believe that the short time that the couple lived in Connecticut was actually the inspiration for “The Great Gatsby” and not Newport, Rhode Island where it was originally thought. Although this documentary isn’t based on solid evidence, I found it interesting and would recommend it to anyone who is either a fan of F. Scott Fitzgerald or of “The Great Gatsby”. Streaming Time: 1 hour, 10 minutes.

Gentlemen in Moscow - 2 episodes (Paramount+ with Showtime)

I never got around to reading the novel by Amor Twoles which I heard great things about, but I really wanted to stream the series when it premiered. I had two more episodes left to stream when I took this flight. Overall this series was a very, very slow burn. It dragged out way too long for eight episodes. It could’ve been either a movie or better yet a stage play. The story took place only in a hotel, so it felt really claustrophobic for an entire series. A stage play would have been more ideal with its limited set and cast.

Interview with the Vampire - 1 episode (AMC+)

I decided to download the last episode of the first season as I had yet to watch it. Kind of a big mistake as I was holding my phone extra close to me so neighboring eyes wouldn’t see all the obscene gore. This series definitely grew on me. At first I was like, I hate vampires, which I do. I find them all to be so boring and the same, but I did read Anne Rice’s Lestat novels when I was in high school so I was definitely on board to see the series. I would say by the fifth episode I was prepared to take it to the end and will definitely watch the second season which is now streaming.

STOP IN ORLANDO. Most everyone on my flight left the airplane except for me and three other people. Lucky them, getting to get off this super long flight. Now the Orlando people were coming aboard and let me tell you all the kid camps, families with tons of backpacks, and Florida people you swear you’ve seen their mugshots were schlepping down the aisles, loud and proud. It was much too late for all this. I checked my phone to see if we were still on some sort of schedule and… MY FLIGHT HAD BEEN DELAYED UNTIL 3AM. Bless my sister for still agreeing to pick me up at this witching hour.

There was only one show I could watch until 3am….

The Real Housewives of New York - 5 episodes (Peacock)

You know when you’re stuffed, but then someone offers you chips & salsa and guacamole you’re like oh sure I can eat a whole bowl of that. That’s what it’s like with me and The Real Housewives. I literally could be dead tired, but if I turn on the Housewives, I could just marathon it like Lionel Richie - all night long. The last five episodes including the reunion episodes were all I had left to watch of the latest season of RHONY. This is the reboot season where Andy Cohen dumped the OG cast and brought on an entirely new cast and vibe. Was the show filled with petty fighting? Yes. Did I love it? Again, yes. I think the new cast is promising and with the addition of designer Rebecca Minkoff this new season, I am more than on-board. Here’s the latest trailer for the new season airing October 1.

As we’re descending to Hartford and I’m watching the heated RHONY reunion episode where everyone is fighting, it’s only fitting that someone on my flight caused a scene. It is nearly three in the morning and someone refuses to put their seat in an upright position and buckle their seatbelt for landing. The pilot had to take to the loudspeaker to announce that security will be coming to escort this person off the plane once we land. Breeze Airways drama was surpassing Real Housewives drama today.

I was so tired at this point. I had been in this seat (with one bathroom break) for nearly thirteen hours. I felt delirious.

I could’ve flown to Paris, stopped at a café, ate a croissant, met the man of my dreams, adopted a French kitty, and swam the dirty Seine in the same amount of time it took me to get across the states to Connecticut.

Security came upon landing looking like a ranger from Yogi Bear’s forest, wearing a pointy hat. Was he here to shoot a moose? After a brief argument with the passenger, he escorted a teenager and a child off the plane wearing shirts from the Disney World camp. This is who was causing the drama? You just came from the happiest place on earth! You buckle your seat on the Matterhorn, but you don’t buckle it on an airplane?

By the time I met my sister outside baggage claim it was past 3:30am and I just wanted to cry with anger from the flight, with joy of seeing her. Breeze Airways has no phone number you can call so when I tried to pull a Karen and complain, I had to text customer service in ALL CAPS to show my frustration with the flight. NEVER AGAIN. Breeze Airways was not a breeze.

Looking to the future: Here’s what’s streaming today and tomorrow…

August 26

• No Gain No Love (Prime Video)

• Sasquatch Sunset (Paramount+)

• The Sommerdahl Murders: Season 5 (Acorn/AMC+)

August 27

• Untold: Sign Stealer (Netflix)

• Only Murders in the Building: Season 4 (Hulu)

• Breathe (Paramount+)

• Horror’s Greatest (Shudder/AMC+)